Who fears intimacy and what is it like?

Hi Kiara!

I hope you are doing great. It's been too long since we spoke to each other. Hence, I wanted to write to you. Kiara, when I try to communicate my sexual desires to my partner, he fears intimacy. I do not know what I should do. Also, I do not know what does it feel like? I wanted to seek your advice on this. Please help me with this.

Thank you!

Sophie

Credits@GoogleImages

Hi Sophie!

I am doing great babe. I know what you are trying to convey. Babe, intimacy comes with a risk like controlling your partner, rejection, abuse, etc. Everyone on some level fears intimacy because this is risky. So, it does not necessarily mean that they are avoiding it. Levels of fear depend on one's experience with it. People who have been hurt a lot in the past often find it difficult to get intimate.

People who fear intimacy might go through a whirlpool of emotions. Some feel lonely because they want to be close but choose not to because they fear getting hurt again. They feel conflicted on the inside. In new relationships, when they start getting close they may pull back or would keep their partner at a certain distance. This creates problems in their relationship because their partner experiences that feeling of being pushed away.

To overcome the fear of intimacy, a person needs to overcome old hurts and try to learn from them. Also, this person should understand that there are safe people with whom they can enjoy an intimate relationship.

I hope you speak to your partner and communicate what exactly is making him fear intimacy. Please let me know about this.

Thank you!

Kiara!