Over the years, a lot of people especially the ‘relationship experts’ suggest going against your partner’s phone. They claim that it is a sign of insecurity.
But in this article, I am going to share I have slightly different options on this and why it is necessary to check your partner’s phone, at least once.
Yes, you read that right!
Before I go ahead, I would like to state that all of us are insecure when we think about all this. We do not know the intent of people’s hearts and cannot tell what the next person will do. So, yes, we are insecure that way and have our reasons for it.
I am not a relationship expert, but someone who has an experience in human behavior and who is knowledgeable enough when it comes to understanding the intent of people.
Before you get me wrong, well, I would like to discuss the four main phases of every relationship.
Phase-1: The Butterfly stage:
It is the initial stage when two people meet for the first time and they find each other perfect and breathtaking.
Both partners tend to show their best behavior. And all want to do is to spend every single minute of every single day together, in each other’s arms.
Phase-2: The real stage:
I would call this stage the real one. Here the butterflies begin to disappear one after the other. It is the stage where you and your partner are already comfortable with each other. You no longer feel that your partner is perfect. This is also the stage when the couples get into the first argument.
Phase 3: The compromise stage:
At this stage, both partners tend to make their relationship work. They do this by making compromises. If you are your partner has survived the real stage that means you have seen the real selves of each other.
Phase 4:-the exclusive stage:
It is the stage when you two have seen and accepted the flaws of each other and choose to be together. It is also a stage when the two of you consider moving in together or getting engaged. So, where am I heading with all this, and what connection does it have in checking with your partner’s phone? Wait I will explain.
When you meet a person for the first time, you do not know much about them. You only know how much they tell you. Ok. Things are good when people are good, but there are horrible people also. People who are harmless, but dangerous.
No one would meet you for the first time and say that he is a serial killer. Or no one would say that they find joy in serial dating and breaking hearts.
So, how do you know a person’s reality?
When I meet people for the first time, I decide to tell them unpleasant things associated with me.
Things that say that I am imperfect. I wouldn’t want someone to have unrealistic expectations about me.
Also, if there is anything I dislike is wasting my emotions on the wrong person. I would rather like you to know the ‘not so good’ qualities of me and then and then if you chose to stay, you find out that I am not bad at all. But since this blog is not about me, so let’s get to the point.
When should you check your partner’s phone?
If you are in a relationship with someone who you are not confident about, then, it is okay to check their phone. Especially at the first stage of their relationship.
I know that sounds crazy but, your safety is worth it. As much as most people seem perfect in a new relationship, there are some hidden quirks too.
Yes, that quirk might pose no threat to you, still, you should see that for yourself. Hence, you should always do some investigations before.
You need to be sure you are not getting into a serious relationship with some serial killer. You need to protect your heart and your life too. You do not owe a stranger your trust at the initial level.
So, you should check your partner’s phone if there are things bothering you.
What to expect when checking your partner’s phone?
Be mentally prepared for anything that comes. You should be more open-minded. And be careful not to jump to unnecessary conclusions. Another thing that you might find on your partner’s phone is their messages sent to others. Yes, that may arouse jealousy in you. So, you cannot blame them.
People do not go into relationships with long term. These things happen over time. So, you should not expect a new partner to stop communicating immediately with other love interests in the initial days of your relationship.
How to go about it?
1. Seek permission before checking your lover’s phone.
2. Be open-minded and emotionally ready to face whatever you see.
3. Explain to them that you just want to check for yourself.
Trust me, if they still refuse to show you at this point in time, then there is something you should need to take care of.
