Dear Kiara,
 I have been watching this show called ‘The Ultimatum‘, where people who are at a crossroads in their relationship issue an ultimatum to their partner. And then this got me thinking about my relationship. I am in a live-in relationship with my partner for four years and I want to get married.
For the last year, he has been indicating that a proposal is coming, but nothing has happened and I am worried that he is stringing me along.
I am feeling resentful and was thinking to give him an ultimatum. Should I do that?
Regards,
Lipa
Hi Lipa,
First things first: It is normal and even healthy for two people who love each other in a relationship to come to the point of readiness for major life events like an engagement or wedding. It does not mean that things cannot work out in the future.
Things begin to go haywire when one person is ready long before the other and resentment begins. Typically once that happens, their frustration and anger leak out into other parts of the relationship and that is dangerous. It is best to address this issue before it gets too late. Express your need to take the next big step in a clear, mature, and loving manner that creates limits and boundaries.
It is also crucial to hear your partner’s honest reservations and reasons for not proposing.
Relationship ultimatums should be the last resort. This is what I believe. I hope you think about this at least once.
Regards,
Kiara
