QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
Last time I went out on a Tinder date, my date and I remained mostly silent throughout. I do not want to endure such awkward silence this time around. Can you please help me?
Josie!
ANSWER
Hi Josie,
All is going well, the conversation is flowing, then… you hit a lull. Relax; everyone experiences it at some point. To help you avoid awkward silence on a date, we’ve compiled 6 conversation strategies:
1. Engage in the topic with genuine interest.
Even the dullest topics can have a silver lining of interest, so try to be fully engaged in everything your date says. It’s a great opportunity to learn about the topic so that if it ever comes up again, you won’t feel lost or wish the conversation would shift.
2. Make sure you ask questions.
There is an answer to every question asked. Keeping a rhythm is easy when you ask plenty of questions. If you share your own stories, your date is likely to follow your lead and ask you a lot of questions as well.
Don’t give generic answers. From “really,” “that’s cool,” and “yeah,” we’ve all been guilty of answering in generic ways that interrupt conversations.
3. Nod occasionally.
Whenever someone perceives that you are not listening, he or she will shorten the story. It may be distracting to say “mhm,” but nodding while your date speaks will indicate that you’re engaged.
4. Let’s keep it light and positive.
When you bring up a sad story, it will kill the conversation and increase the awkward factor. Even though sad stories will have their place in your relationship at some point, they are best left until later in your relationship. When people hear sob stories, they often struggle to respond because other than “I’m sorry,” what else can they say?
Silence is not something to fear; it is something to enjoy. If you spend the entire night avoiding silence, then it will befall you. If it does happen, be happy that you’ll finally get a chance to enjoy your dinner for the briefest of moments.
Love,
Kiara!
