MAN WHO NEVER HAD A FATHER QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
How are things? It’s been 3 years since I’ve been married and I’m thinking about having a baby. But my biggest concern is whether or not my husband will be a good father. Since he’s never had a father figure, he’ll never know what it’s like to be one. I wonder if he will be there for our baby with his wholehearted love?
Love,
Josie!
ANSWER
Hi Josie,
If you think a lion cannot be a lion without his father, think again!
Therefore, since humans aren’t lions, being away from one’s father doesn’t make him a deficient father. Despite what some might think, fatherhood will not be extinct for men. Some people have an innate ability to become parents, while others are utterly incapable of being responsible parents. It’s simple and tricky to phantom. But certainly, a person who has never had a father does not make them incapable of raising a child or being a good role model for their child. Instead, either they need to be taught, or someone needs to intervene to help them.
To illustrate my point, let me tell the story of my friend’s husband.
My friend’s husband’s father abandoned him when he was six years old. However, thanks to his grandfather, he had someone who looked up to him. After they had their first child, things just weren’t the same. As soon as he heard those words, he knew he had to be a better father.
Because he understood the impact of being away from his father, he avoided making mistakes when things got hard without him. Similarly, I know your husband will be a great father to your child; he will try to make your kid happy in every way he can.
As a wife, however, you need to be supportive of your husband so he can keep this balance. Do not dwell on the past! It leads to depression. Get over it. Parenting isn’t a rehash of what generations before us did. If it were, we’d have been bringing water from the lake instead of moving forward and accepting change.
Also, being a good father does not rely on skill but more on commitment. If your husband sticks by you through good and bad times, there is a good chance he will be an excellent father. It is a leap of faith to become a good father, just like all other crucial decisions in life.
If you are still uncertain, you can also take advantage of parenting support groups offered by some communities. Or you might also find parenting classes at your church. If so, make sure to utilize these opportunities.
Ultimately, he will be the parent, and it is uniquely him. Don’t worry about it! It will all work out! Let me know your thoughts on it?
Love,
Kiara!
