Well, if you are someone who obsesses over the stressful thing that had happened in your day, then do not worry; you are not alone. It can be anything, it could be a situation where you just wish you had the perfect comeback or find a solution to an already existing problem.
We know, when these thoughts turn more brooding, it is known as rumination. So, in this article, let’s discuss rumination, its negative effects, and how it can sabotage your relationships.
What is rumination?
It involves excessive thoughts that interfere with other types of thinking. Usually, this type of thinking occurs with conditions like general anxiety and obsessive compulsion disorder. But usually, people associated with it are engaged in this type of thinking. Well, rumination is very stressful as it multiplies the stress too. This process has two variables: Brooding and reflection.
- REFLECTION: This rumination variable is very helpful as it helps you find a solution. Also, reflecting on certain events can help you process strong emotions related to the issue.
- BROODING: This is associated with less proactive behavior and emphasizes more on negative mood.
Rumination is also a feeling of helplessness that results in the inability to change what has already happened. Yes, we may not change the situation, but we will find a perfect comeback or response that will eliminate our stress.
Finally, realizing that how much energy we put into ruminating over a situation can lead to even more feelings of frustration and ruin the entire day.
What causes rumination?
Different people obsess over different things for many reasons. Some people want to make sense of a situation but cannot understand or accept it. Some people keep trying to solve a problem, whereas others can’t figure out how to deal with it. Specific situations can trigger rumination, especially in relationships on what was said and what took place. Sometimes this process can be helpful, but it can also make us feel stuck and less inclined to do something productive. The deeper you are in a cycle of rumination, the louder your voice starts to overpower them.
“Why did he not reply? I shouldn’t have said this, what if…?”There are so many thoughts we experience after arguing in a relationship. But, if you only dwell on these thoughts, they would keep repeating in your head and it becomes difficult to manage. Rumination does affect a romantic relationship in the following ways:
- Having a negative mindset:
Let’s say if your last date did not go well, it will make you feel a little lost. You will have an unpleasant mood, and it leads to a negative mindset.
- Self-sabotage:
When we experience rumination, we are more likely to make things difficult for ourselves. Copying behavior such as self-sabotaging makes you less approachable and more destructive.
- Very less proactive behavior:
When you feel stress or worry, you are prone to higher disengagement from problems. It leads to negativity influencing our wellbeing and making us less likely involved in new relationships.
How to overcome rumination?
All of us through days when we feel ruminated. We obsess over things and have no solutions to deal with them. So, here are a few ideas on how to refocus:
- Establishing a time limit:
It is always advisable to get help from your friends, but too much discussion can lead to clashes, frustration, and negativity. So, instead of finding solutions and closures, you feel a little let down by the situation. So, if you are seeking help from your friends, set a time limit for it. It will help.
- Creating boundaries:
Always set boundaries to a situation. Yes, it takes some practice, but do that. It will change your habitual thought patterns. It will make your experience a little less stressful, and you will come out of it very gracefully.
Always remember to be patient with yourself and keep moving forward. It will make you feel less stressed in no time.
