Is Love at first sight real?

All of us have heard the meet-cutes where a couple’s eyes are locked across a crowded room at a party (in slow motion while violins play in the background) or bumping into each other at a bar and hitting it off immediately. They instantly knew that they found the love of their life. But is this all even a part of a fairytale that will eventually implode? Love, at first sight, is a phrase that splits opinion. Hopeless romantics swear it be true while those who are perhaps more cynical believe that you can have infatuation at first sight, and it is not ‘love’!

But, what is “Love” at first sight?

        Love, at first sight, gets difficult to understand and explain. For me, ‘Love at first sight‘ nauseatingly perpetuated in the songs and movies I enjoyed growing up while others relate it to Romeo and Juliet’s theory. Love, at first sight, is something one can experience at a glance; it is a connection, understanding, emotion, and patience. Some people describe it as firework, while others describe it as moments where nothing else matters around you when you talk and see each other for the first time. It is an unexpressed feeling you get when you do not want a moment to end. You feel a connection with another person that you have not felt before. Experts say that love carries many definitions, but the one used nowadays in science “characterizes love as a complex psychological-emotional mental state involving four basic dimensions. They are cognition, chemistry, preference, and an intention to be with a significant other.”

Love is a drug:

When a person falls in love, a chemical reaction sends a signal to the brain, and Dopamine and Serotonin get produced. Dopamine gets made by the hypothalamus which, causes a sense of excitement when we are around the people we are in love with. These extreme levels of dopamine get connected with the production of norepinephrine which causes a loss in appetite. It affects the quality of our sleep. Norepinephrine plays an integral part in the brain’s flight or fight mode that kicks in when a person gets stressed out.

Factors that lead to the “love at first sight” theory:

• The ‘attractiveness halo’ factor: Yes, this factor gets strongly connected to your first impression. It, therefore, plays an influential role in the concept of love at first sight. This thing falls under the umbrella of cognitive bias which, is when a person lays such focus on one positive thing of an individual, which seems more attractive. This factor causes a person to believe that if someone is physically attractive or desirable. Talking about ‘Confirmation bias’, it is the tendency to use new information for reinforcing your current beliefs. This attractiveness halo leads a person to believe that they have experienced love at first sight.
• Recreating your memories: At times, we can be guilty of rewriting history and revisit our past experiences. A study conducted uncovered that love, at first sight, maybe a bi-product of the phenomenon called the “Positive Illusion”. It occurs when you or your partner grows to believe that you fell in love at first as you are in love now. As a result, your current feelings apply to the memory of your first encounter making; you believe that you have always been in love.
• Creating an impression on someone: Your first impression gets determined within the first 7 seconds of meeting someone. Within these 7 seconds, people can determine almost immediately if someone is attractive or not. If we are attracted to someone in a few seconds, our brain releases oxytocin throughout the stages of initial contact. It is often referred to as the love hormone, telling us that we are in love.
• Eye contacts contribute to love at first sight: Eye contacts attribute to love at first sight. The study also shows that people are more likely to focus on the faces of those they were in love with, and they just focus on the other sign languages too.

Can love, at first sight, lead to a successful marriage?

     Is it possible that love, at first sight, could lead to a successful marriage? There is no definite answer to that because a lasting marriage goes through many changes in its sexual and physical relationship. It can happen due to a myriad of reasons such as health issues, careers, having children that cause ups and downs, mostly when partners are just not on the same page.  Research states that “There is general understanding at the beginning of any relationship, but as the relationship progresses, it gets difficult to deal with it”. However, if couples decide to know each other in the initial days of their marriage, things can work out. The honeymoon phase of any relationship lasts around six months, and post this, people; start recognizing each other’s strengths, baggage, red flags, and quirks. So, relations that get through all these ups and downs lead to a successful companionship. But in all of this, do not underestimate the importance of that initial spark. As much as intimacy in a relationship is important, communication, honesty, respecting your partner and his dreams, play a vital role in sustaining marriages.