Relationships are idealized in our culture through rom-coms, fairy tales, and hashtags like #relationshipgoals. However, no relationship is perfect — disagreements will occur from time to time. Every partnership has ups and downs, and each one is different. Strong, healthy relationships usually have some core characteristics. It is essential to communicate effectively during difficult times so that everyone feels heard and safe. Here are some things that make a relationship successful:
1) Comfortable Pace: It is important to move at your own pace. Each partner should feel comfortable about their level of commitment and how they view the relationship. For adults – decisions like moving in together, having children, etc. – these decisions are made in an open dialogue together. There is no pressure to talk or text constantly, and it doesn’t feel like a chore when you do. They both feel happy and look forward to the changes in the relationship – whether it is more physical intimacy or other changes.
2) Honesty: Partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings and emotions with each other without fear of being aggressive or violently reacted to by the other person. They communicate honestly with each other and can talk through difficult feelings.
3) Respect: In addition to respecting each other as individuals, you also respect and value each other’s goals, beliefs, and boundaries. Both partners support each other and respect the differences and similarities between them. A compliment, pep talk, kindness, space, and support can help each individual develop their interests and goals.
4) Kindness: You are equally kind to one another. You can show kindness in a variety of ways, such as listening to your partner, being a shoulder to cry on, doing small favors (for example, running an errand for them), giving them a card, being happy for them when they succeed, etc. – but it is important that both partners show kindness equally.
5) Healthy Conflict: Relationships have times when partners differ from each other, so a healthy relationship does not mean it has no conflict or disagreements. If you have a healthy relationship, you can speak to your partner without fear about your point of view during those moments. It is important for each partner to give the other the opportunity to express his or her feelings and opinions. Conflicts are resolved with words, without harming one another physically or emotionally.
6) Independence: It allows each partner to maintain their individuality. Partners can spend time alone or with other friends or family without their partner. In addition to spending time together, it is perfectly acceptable to spend time apart. Each person has their own interests, finances, extracurricular activities, job, and friends.
7) Taking Responsibility: Partners accept responsibility for their actions. They both apologize for their mistakes and express their feelings and work to rectify the situation.
8) Fun: There should be fun in every relationship! You have common interests and frequently enjoy spending time together. You make each other happy! In a healthy relationship, laughter and fun are very important.
