QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
My life has changed since I found out I’m lesbian. I’m now more comfortable and confident in who I am and I’m ready to start a new journey. Now what? How should I tell my parents and friends? How will they react? My heart is racing with this thought. Please let me know the best way forward.
Love,
Ziana!
ANSWER
Hi Ziana,
Honestly, I believe you should: Come out only when you are really ready to. Don’t let chaos overpower you and keep in mind that it may be ongoing rather than a one-off event.
1) Don’t come out unless you’re ready. Several people find coming out a great relief, while others do not want to, believing that sexuality is a completely private matter. You should only come out when you are comfortable and confident.
2) The concerns and worries you have may vary with your age. Many young people worry about their peers’ reactions and acceptance, and whether or not they’ll be bullied. Some older adults, especially those in heterosexual relationships or with children, may face different dilemmas. When coming out to your children, remind them that you are still the same person, that you still love them, and that you still feel the same way about them. It is best to get your ex’s support and tell the kids together if at all possible.
3) Be sensitive to people’s feelings, too. Allow them to be shocked and to need time to process the news. Choose a quiet, calm time to tell your friends, so you can all talk about it.
4) If you’re really nervous about telling your family or friends, consider writing them a letter, and then follow up with a phone call or visit. In this way, the recipient can adjust to the news, but you still maintain control.
5) Having a support network around you is a good idea if you’re not sure how certain significant people in your life will react. If you trust one person and feel fairly confident that they’ll support you, you could come out to them. When you come out to others, have that person with you if necessary.
Love,
Kiara!
