QUESTION
Hi Amanda,
Can you provide me with a few tips on how to be a great pen pal? I am very interested in becoming one.
Love,
Zackie!
ANSWER
Hi Zackie,
Although being a pen pal may seem simple, you can create a lovely snail-mail friendship that lasts and makes both parties happy. But if you stop receiving letters from your pen pal, and wonder what happened, these tips will help you avoid it.
Be yourself at all times:
Like any relationship, there is no point in trying to be someone you aren’t; you will get nothing out of it if it is based on lies. Just be yourself – let your pen pal know your serious side, your funny side, your creative side, your quirky side, your hopes, and your fears. Your letters will blossom into a wonderful, close friendship if you are honest and open with them.
Engage in conversation:
Write a balanced story; don’t write just a list of your favorite things or what you’ve done lately; don’t be tempted to write just a monologue. Your pen pal will want to know more about you, so share interesting tales, questions for your pen pal, and insights into your life. You can rant about work or college if you wish, but keep it concise, and balance it out with something positive.
Define boundaries:
If your pen pal has asked a question or brought up a topic you don’t feel comfortable discussing, you are well within your rights to politely decline – whether it is just for now, or forever.
Setting boundaries upfront, at the beginning of your correspondence, is the best way to avoid discussing topics you don’t wish to discuss. While it may sound awkward, stating, “I’d like to avoid talking about serial killers or job-hunting” can save unwanted letter conversations later.
Clearly define your expectations:
When you start writing to your pen pal, you should talk about letter expectations early on, so that nobody’s shocked or disappointed later. People write letters of different lengths and rates. What if your new pen pal writes longer, longer letters every month, while you write short ones every week? There’s nothing wrong with discussing this issue and making sure everyone is happy with how it works.
Don’t rush:
Please be patient if your pen pal takes a while to write back – we all have busy lives, and other things sometimes get in the way of letter-writing. Send them a quick email, note if it’s been a while, to make sure everything’s okay.
If you’re taking longer than usual to respond, send your pen-friend a quick email to let them know you’ve received their letter.
I hope you have enjoyed these tips as much as I have. Wishing you a happy penpaling!
Love,
Amanda!
