QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
What’s up? My partner is messy, and it’s a challenge since I like my home to be neat and tidy. It irritates me that he doesn’t understand the meaning of “clean.” However, I do not want to lose my mind over him since I love him.
Do you have any advice?
Thank you.
Love,
Josie!
ANSWER
Hi Josie,
One of the most frustrating things about partners can be their messy habits. Getting through to them can sometimes seem impossible. Even though messy and clean couples may seem odd together, they make a good match if both parties are willing to put in the effort.
So, if you want to coexist well with a messy person, set some ground rules for your living space. After that, agree to maintain shared areas like the kitchen or the living room. Additionally, express your feelings clearly if you want to live harmoniously with a messy person.
The Best Ways To Live With A Messy Partner Without Losing Mind.
1. Give the messy person their own space.
Let them live in their own space as they please, thereby containing their mess. If he has his room, he can be messy as much as he wants. Or maybe he has free reign over their office, messing it up as he pleases.
But make sure you both agree that the mess should stay in the designated area and not spread throughout the house. You can tell him, “We should each keep our stuff in our rooms,” or “Can we keep our stuff in our rooms away from the common areas?”
2. Have them clean up their area for 10 minutes.
You can ask him for a quick 10-minute clean once every day if the mess in their area is out of control. Provide cleaning supplies and encourage them to tidy up their space to make it less messy.
Perhaps you could ask him, ” Could you tidy up your space for ten minutes?” “I’d be grateful for it.”
3. Don’t fight the messy person too hard.
Keep your anger at bay when someone has a messy habit. You should reserve your frustration and anger for behavior that bothers you. Allow yourself to let minor issues slide, especially if you see the person trying to clean up after themselves.
When it comes to the kitchen, for instance, if he forgets to put something away, you may let it slide because it’s not a big deal. If he leaves rotten food in the kitchen, you may discuss the issue with him if it bothers you seriously.
4. Reward the messy person for their efforts.
Observe whether he tries to tidy up or clean. If they try to keep things clean, even if it is against their nature, let them know you appreciate it. Over time, this will build goodwill and respect between you two.
It would be nice if you could say to him, “You did a nice job cleaning up the living room while I was at work, thanks,” or ” It looks like you got rid of the garbage in your room, thank you.”
Messier people aren’t easy to live with, especially if you like your space tidy. You can both make it work if you put in these small efforts. We recommend starting with one room at a time instead of tackling the whole house at once. Someone accustomed to clutter and junk may find it hard to get rid of everything at once.
Think positive and do the best you can with what you have. Don’t expect this issue to disappear overnight. It takes time to establish a new habit. But don’t forget what matters most. Your relationship is more important than your house’s cleanliness. Don’t forget to celebrate your little tidy-up wins along the way.
I’d like to hear how it went.
Love,
Kiara!
