Fake friends QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
How are you celebrating friendship day? With HFD approaching, I’m worried about fake friends. There are a lot of people who claim to be my true friends. But in times of trouble, they won’t respond to my texts nor help me, or if they do, it’s already too late. Could you please tell me how to spot fake ones from real ones?
Love,
Josie!
ANSWER
Hi Josie,
Social connections underpin human lives, and having friends is like having a lifeline. Friends are those we can turn to for happiness and sorrow. In times of need, we can rely on them. Some friends indeed act like they are true friends, but they aren’t. All they want from you is your benefit. People like these are toxic; they will leave you when you need them most. Identifying fake friends can be difficult, but here are some signs to look for:
- They are not committed.
Friends are always committed to each other. If friends say they’ll be there at a given time, they should show up. It can be possible that they can have a personal emergency at some point in time, but not always. If your friend does not fulfill their commitments, you should be aware since this can be a sign of a fake friendship.
- With them, you will never be at ease.
When people are with their friends, they’re comfortable and at ease. Your friends will accept you as you are. However, fake friends won’t make you feel welcome. They will always judge you and try to get the maximum benefit from you. Both are opposites.
- Drama is what they want.
If someone truly cares about you, they will avoid drama and gossip and try to understand you. Having a little scuttlebutt is okay, but pointing out and overemphasizing is a big red flag.
- They can disconnect at any time.
A true friend keeps in touch at all times. It is common for fake friends to disconnect whenever they do not need you. They will call you when they need you. But once they’ve had enough of you, they won’t reply to your messages and won’t answer your calls. It is an obvious sign of a fake friendship if someone does it with you.
- They say crap when you aren’t around.
A loyal friend would never say anything negative about you even if you weren’t present. If they wish to correct you, they will ask you to meet privately with them so they can explain what went wrong. Fake friends will tell everyone about your mistakes, especially when you are away.
- They’re only sweet when they’re in need.
When they need you, a fake friend is usually more polite and sweet than a real friend. And when they don’t need you, they become harsh and evade you. Avoid those who are constantly fluctuating in their moods with you while they are consistent with others.
- In the end, they’ll always prefer others.
Fake friends can’t favor you. When you are in a crowd, they will try to talk to other people, but not you. When you are happy, pay attention to their face if you want to recognize a fake friend. It is a sign that your friends are fake if your happiness makes them sad.
So yeah, I hope you have all the answers. On this friendship day, I hope you can successfully spot a fake friend and find real friends who you can count on throughout your lifetime.
Love,
Kiara!
