QUESTION
Hi Amanda,
It’s my first time publicly asking a question to you. As a trans man, this is my first menstrual cycle and has been awful. It disturbs me. It’s not just physical but also hormonal. I couldn’t carry out the things I wanted to do daily. Could you please help me deal with my periods?
Love,
Rodrick!
ANSWER
Hi Rodrick,
It’s a fact of life for many people, not just women. It is a normal, acceptable part of being transgender or genderqueer, but for some, it causes discomfort and even active distress. For some, getting and managing a period isn’t a big deal, but for others, it can be a real headache. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to experience and needs. Some things may help one person but aggravate another. It is up to you to decide what is best for you, but here are a few tips you might find helpful during your menstrual cycle.
Find the right period supplies.
Using reusable pads or menstrual cups can be helpful. If your flow isn’t heavy, you only need to change your cup twice a day. And if you want to use reusable cloth pads, you can change them quietly without that telltale “wrapper sound.” You can also make pad-friendly boxer briefs by yourself. To make it easier for yourself, buy standard pads and tampons online or on days when your dysphoria is at its lowest point. Feel free to experiment with a few products and see which is most comfortable for you.
Effortlessly ease the pain.
A warm shower, a hot water bottle, or a heating pad can help you manage cramps. A good stretch or exercise can ease pain and boost your endorphins.
Affirm your emotions.
During difficult times in your cycle or whenever you feel dysphoric, try to do or say things that affirm how you identify, including wearing your favorite outfit. Clothing that feels good and reflects your gender can make all the difference, as can binding (flattening your chest with a binder) or packing (pushing your underwear up to look like a penis).
Support from loved ones.
Share your feelings and seek reassurance from other trans people to remind yourself that you are not alone. Get in touch with a supportive cisgender friend or family member. Furthermore, you can write a journal or blog, pet a furry animal, listen to uplifting music or chat with an anonymous person at an LGBTQIA hotline.
Get Rid of Expectations As a Trans.
Last but not least, let go of expectations. Know what it means to be a man or a woman, as well as understand sex and gender. Even though you know more about how sex and gender work intellectually, you still have to overcome your upbringing.
Remind yourself over and over again that periods do not make you female, just as nipples do not make someone a mother. It will take some time, but eventually, you will be able to let go of stereotypes about sex and gender.
There is nothing feminine about your body. Your menstruation is not female. It just is what it is. You don’t have to feel less of a man when you get your period, even though it’s painful, bloody, messy, and annoying.
The more you listen to stories about trans men managing period pain, the more you will be able to learn how to deal with it and feel less pain. Thank you for reading the article. I hope it helped you in some way.
Love,
Amanda!
