QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
What’s up? I’ve used Tinder for a long time now; however, whenever I text anyone. The exchange ends after a few messages. But this time, I found the guy I’d been looking for. I certainly don’t want the same to happen with him. I’d like to talk with him and meet with him.
I need help starting a conversation effectively.
Love,
Josie!
ANSWER
Hi Josie,
It has been a long time. I know sometimes Tinder is a hassle! But it’s OK; there are just a few things to remember before starting a convo. Now let’s look at how you can do it.
1. Never begin with “hi.”
Starting with “hi” is lazy and obvious. When I get such first Tinder messages, I usually don’t reply because they’re boring. It also indicates that the other person isn’t interested in writing anymore or can’t think of a better idea.
2. Compliment strategically.
Using cheesy pick up lines or overly complementing will not get you a response. That’s why good compliments matter so much. It will make you stand out from the crowd.
3. Find common ground.
Finding something you have in common is the best and easiest way to get others’ attention. In the blink of an eye, it will become an indispensable Tinder opener.
4. Share GIFs.
Sending a GIF on Tinder will nearly double your chance of receiving a response, and your conversation will last twice as long. It’s a bit hit-or-miss with GIFs since you have to figure out what they find funny. Since GIFs are funny, they help break the ice.
Tip: Do not send the GIF without explaining what it is about.
5. Ask questions.
Get the Tinder chat started with a question. Generally, it doesn’t matter what the topic of your question is, as long as it is relatable, interesting, or intriguing to them.
6. Make it fun.
It is acceptable to joke about and be a bit cheesy. You could parody one of those tinder messages. When done well, sending a funny Tinder opener is a great way to kick start a date.
7. Use correct grammar and spelling.
Poor writing leads people to assume that you do not care enough to write a proper message. Many people do not reply. When possible, use their name. It creates an instant connection.
8. Follow up when they do not respond.
On Tinder, I’ve been unmatched because I failed to reply within 24 hours. Because of my work commitments, I couldn’t respond. Be patient, you never know what they’re dealing with. Also, we sometimes use Tinder when we can’t meet in person. If a week ago, they met with someone else or contacted them more, it indicates they weren’t interested in you. Leave them alone if they don’t respond after your second message. Conversely, if people keep being flaky after talking to them for a while and don’t give you a reason, they’re probably not into you or just indecisive.
Now that I’ve given you some ideas on how to start the conversation, it’s your turn. Let me know how it goes.
Love,
Kiara!
