When you are dating someone you love, you feel as if you are floating on cloud nine constantly. However, sometimes you may resent them for cutting their nails in bed or leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Yet, you might be so engrossed in the romance and excitement of the honeymoon phase that you don’t see it coming. These constant put-downs can be a red flag. It’s more complex to ignore quirks in real life than there are red flags.
Unsurprisingly, there is far more nuance to this culture of love-at-first-sight, thanks to apps and social media, such as not initiating dates or posting a romantic photo on Instagram. We’ve compiled a list of eight red flags that you should watch out for.
1. They rush into relationships too soon.
This red flag isn’t about saying, “I love you” too soon or moving in together after a few dates. The problem arises when one person tries to manipulate the other into becoming dependent. When someone says, “I cannot live without you,” or isolates you, this can be very concerning. It is okay to be in a fast-moving relationship if it feels right to you. But make sure to listen to your body if you feel anxious about your partner moving quickly. Put the brakes on and figure out what’s causing you stress.
2. Their anger instills fear in you.
It is common for a person in a relationship to feel like burying their heads in their pillows and screaming. But if your partner gets out of control and breaks things or punches walls, that’s a big red flag. The fact that anger issues can lead to abuse is a sure sign the relationship will end right away.
3. They don’t let you talk over them.
It is a red flag if you share any sensitive aspects of yourself, such as your hobbies, traditions, or the people who make you feel complete. Consider asking yourself, “Is this person concerned about my interests and what’s important to me?” If you feel undervalued or ignored, be wary. Find out if your partner appreciates what matters to you. If they do, great! If not, don’t waste time with such a person.
4. Push your limits physically, even harmlessly.
Is your partner constantly tickling or touching you despite your requests for personal space? The way we tell others how they should behave is one boundary we want them to respect. But we have to worry about overstepping here. If a partner pushes your physical limitations, it may indicate they won’t respect your space. We want them to take us seriously by hearing ‘no’ and ‘stop.’
5. If they tease you, they put you down.
A joke cannot erase hurtful insults. Sarcasm, bad humor, or jokes that point out your faults excessively symbolize the desire to take control without your consent. It makes a significant difference between a partner who makes you feel bad about yourself and one who roasts each other in a consensual, fun way. It is very upsetting when you tell them that hurts your feelings and their behavior remains the same. Then this red flag calls for a must-avoid.
6. If they try to gaslight you.
Gaslighting is when your partner twists reality, making you doubt what you think by blaming or deceiving you. This type of red flag is both abusive and hard to recognize. In this case, the gaslit partner might believe they’re at fault for whatever the problem is, making it difficult to tell whether they are seeing a red flag or not. Seek the support of people who can validate your feelings and give you clarity on your partner’s behavior if gaslighting leaves you feeling uneasy.
7. They misbehave when you aren’t around.
When you spend too much time with your partner, your self-esteem and support system may suffer. It is healthy in a relationship to take time for yourself and to pay attention to how your partner reacts when you do. If they whine, blame, or get angry, this may indicate an inability to control discomfort or a possessive attitude. Watch out for such warning signs.
8. They require constant assurance.
We all feel a little insecure sometimes, but relying solely on other people’s approval is dangerous. Having a partner who needs constant reassurance can put pressure on you and your relationship, which will make you unable to resolve their self-confidence issues or codependency.
Therefore, I hope you realize how important it is to spot red flags. Keep an eye out for warning signs early in a relationship. Whatever the issue may be, take the situation seriously and consider its effect on your relationship, both now and down the road.
