No relationship survives without conflicts. Even the healthiest relationships will have their friction from time to time. While it is natural not to have an agreement; to everything with your partner, it is all about how you handle: those disagreements or conflicts. So, when you or your partner are having a conflict do you calmly clear it out, or does one of you stonewall?
Yes, stonewalling may seem like a harmless tactic to deal with your relationship problems, it can also have a disastrous effect on your relationship. But do you know what does stonewalling means?
Well, read this blog to know more:
In simple words, stonewalling is for someone who would emotionally shut down and withdraw himself from the interaction. Yes, it appears that they are ignoring you and are angry with you. Usually, stonewalling is noticeable in relationships. But this can go unnoticed after your partner is not aware of their behavior.
Signs of a person who is stonewalled:
Well, a person can stonewall you in several different ways. So, these are the signs:
1.) They will walk out in the middle of a conversation without explaining.
2.) They will refuse to talk about the matter.
3.) They will engage in a passive-aggressive manner.
4.) They will change the subject or make false accusations.
5.) They will give you a silent treatment and try to avoid non-verbal communication.
The negative effects of stonewalling in a relationship?
The effects of stonewalling are very disastrous not only at the receiver’s end but also on the partner who is stonewalling. It leaves them in a confusing or angry state. It can just wear them done on their self-esteem, making them feel hopeless. The person who is stonewalling also denies having emotional intimacy with their partners.
Stonewalling versus silent treatment:
As explained earlier, stonewalling happens when someone emotionally shuts down and withdraws their interaction. It also means that the person gets overwhelmed, and their brain cannot function normally. Talking about the silent treatment, it feels more like a game from childhood- where everyone ignores the target. It intends to hurt the other person and to win any conflict.
Stonewalling and the silent treatment looks very similar. In both these processes, your partner tries to disengage and does not feel the urge to communicate. They can both cause frustration and result in flooding.
For stonewalling, self-soothing is an antidote to a healthy life. You simply have to call a time out when you reach that point to give yourself the space just to calm down and self-soothe.
How stonewalling will destroy your relationship?
1.) It makes the other person unloved:
If one partner says to the other partner, “Do whatever you want”, or “Just leave me alone”, then the person is being stonewalled. He feels completely hopeless and disconnected. They feel like they are no longer respected, and their partner does not care. Emotional detachment and abandonment from a partner leave the victim with feelings of anger and worry for the viability of their relationship.
2.) It lowers the feelings of satisfaction in a relationship:
Research has shown that stonewalling in a relationship can be dangerous for the future of any relationship. Relationships are built on the ability to work together and find mutual solutions. But stonewalling hinders a couple’s ability to resolve any issues.
3.) It lessens feelings of intimacy:
It is extremely hard to feel intimate towards someone pretending like you are not present in a room. Couples who deal with these issues build up their problems into something very big.
4.) It increases the risks of anxiety and depression:
Stonewalling in marriages leads to depression. It causes partners to have excessive anxiety and a sense of self-doubt.
5.) Leads to higher chances of ending their relationship:
So, if one partner is persistent with stonewalling, despite the efforts of the other partner communicating properly, the stonewalled may be hiding something very important. It may lead to an extra-marital affair or any wrongdoing.
Dealing with stonewalling in your relationship:
So, when stonewalling occurs in your relationship, the best thing you can do is face it head-on and not think much about it. To make your relationship work, you have to do this together as a couple. You should communicate. If this does not work, then you should also go for counseling. It can actually help you learn many things. It helps you to strengthen your relationship and communicate as a whole.
