How to deal with jealously in a relationship?

No one enjoys getting jealous. It is an inevitable emotion that all of us experience. The problem with jealousy is that we cannot get a hold of it and thus, create complications in our lives. Yes, at times it can be a bit frightening experience, and it overpowers us. It harms our relationships and all the people around us. So, when you experience this emotion, just take it slow and allow yourself to process through all the things because even jealously can be processed healthily. Also, while processing it, it is crucial to know how to deal with this emotion because it destroys our interpersonal relationships and our careers.

But what are we jealous of?

Studies have shown that increased jealousy results in lowering our self-esteem. Most of us are unaware of the basic shame existing within us because it destroys us. Yet, shame from our past can destroy the degree through which we feel insecure and jealous. It perpetuates our feelings and drives us to compare. Maybe, this is also one of the reasons why learning how to deal with this emotion is important. Incidents like a breakup or betrayal from our partner can lead to terrible things. It will make us feel negative, and we will feel negative about it.

What is romantic jealousy?

          Relationships go smooth when people are not jealous. The more we can get a hold of our feelings of jealousy, the better we feel. Always remember that jealousy comes from getting insecure, hurt, or rejected. People who have already experienced this know how jealously works and how these thoughts will slowly start to sprout and blossom to a much larger extent. They can also engrain attacks on ourselves or our partners. These feelings can arise at any point in a relationship, from a first date to the 20th year of marriage. So, in this case, it is important to understand how to deal with jealously and not blindly act on jealous feelings by pushing your partner away.

How to deal with jealously?

• Admitting yourself that you are getting jealous: Admitting that you are getting jealous does not make you a bad person. It is a part of the wide range of emotions that we experience at some point in our life. Also, denying the fact that we are getting jealous can make you constantly deny your feelings. So, being honest with yourself about why you are emotionally drained helps you understand yourself. It also helps you process them and understand your true self.
• Staying vulnerable and calming down:

No matter how much jealous you are, you can still find ways to calm yourself. Accepting and acknowledging this thing is the first criteria to understand yourself better. Post this, you can learn tools to calm yourself down and refuse to get engaged in the angry words of the inner critic.

Doing the repair work with the right person:

Always be mindful of why, when, and with whom you would like to share your feelings. Talk to the person with whom you have that emotional connection and who will understand you much better. It will help you heal and get clear about your things. This exercise also allows the partner to have solutions instead of accusations.

• Refrain from making harsh decisions:

Choices made during temporary heightened emotions will go negative outputs. Jealously, will get out of hand and get converted into anger and envy. It also leads to destroying your relationships. So, if you can take a moment, just try to self-soothe yourself. Self-soothing can be done by including simple breathing exercises and by mindfulness activity.

• Seeking your sense of security:

The best thing you can do is stay strong and secure. It is necessary to conquer our inner critic and believe that we are okay. We do not need a specific person’s love to be lovable. Also, we humans are full of flaws and limitations, and no one can give their 100 percent of the time. So, it is crucial to practice self-compassion and learn how to stand up to our inner critic. In short, it means how we can embrace our lives wholeheartedly and believe that we are strong.

In relationships, it is crucial to maintain honest communication with your partner. If we hope to have their trust by our side, they won’t judge us for anything. The line of open communication is not about unloading our insecurities on our partner but being kind and compassionate, even when we are feeling jealous.