It is absolutely very normal to be single!

For a few people, getting into a relationship just does not work. Whereas, for the others, we have to teach them how a relationship should be or should not be like.

For me, I unexpectedly started dating a guy in my late 20s. It was my ‘first love’. The kind of love that seemed right, where you feel that your life is a fairytale, maybe too good to be true. But, things ended on a very bad note, and it drained me. I was all shattered, broken, and emotionally drained out. Maybe, this is something I will never get over. Post this episode- I decided to be single for some time and take that time for myself.

So, in my single time, I am taking the world by storm. I travel, spend time with my friends and family, at times grieving and going through traumas, and then coming back strong. I work out, eat healthily and cut toxic people from my life. I have made a list of things that I want to achieve, and most importantly, in this time, I have started falling in love with myself.

But singles like me are always- questioned about our singlehood.

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Not only by the committed/ married people but anyone who has been asking you about being single.

                             ‘Why are you still single?’

                         ‘Are you happy being single???’

                         ‘Are you still stuck on your last relationship or something?’

  Ugh! I know these questions are damn irritating.

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Asking embarrassing questions about our relationship status is a faux pas. It is so shameful that the social acceptance of this does not go both ways.

I know exactly how it feels when people ask you about your singlehood. There is a lot of disgust every time people bring up this topic. Like there are uncontrollable questions people continue to probe.

Of lately, I have also realized to understand other’s fascination with our single life and why they keep asking us the same question again and again.

• They are passing the blame: Let us not pretend this is the first generation of singles to feel the outrage of grilling. I know it is not their fault. Their predecessors have long perfected the art of marital pressure on people. Hence, they are carrying on the same tradition over and over. Also, it is awful that people do not learn from their mistakes. Some people think it is their moral duty to ask people about their singlehood.
• People take this as a form of entertainment: I have seen a lot of people who think that their single friends are there to entertain them. To entertain others- with stories about their failed romances or one-night stands. But, people have some other healthy forms of entertainment to sustain them.

“It is not that for married people, that their married life is boring. But there is some sort of predictability associated with it. They want more from their romance and hope that their single friends will keep their life amused”…

But in all this, people do not care about what is happening to us, specifically. It is their vicarious ways of living through you. Maybe, a cliche!

• They think they can help: Apparently, they are all married counselors. Because if we tell them our problems, they think they will help us. With all their understanding of the dating scenarios, they think; they can fix everything for us that is impossible.  But committed people, please help yourselves first! Also, what I think is that we are the masters of our relationships, and know, how things work.
• They think about the dreaded clock: Society is already looking at our biological clock. Well, we did not know about that! Also, it is our naive to think with all the technology we have available now that our biological clock changes. And having children after your 30s gets difficult. But, it is not true. People would never leave a stone unturned to make singles realize that being single is a punishment in itself. They make us feel that we have missed out on something incredible in our lives, especially from time running out.  It feels like we are taking the exam of life and have not paced ourselves.

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People, it is very normal to be single, and we need to normalize it. In all this, live for yourself rather than others, you will discover a lot about yourself. You will also learn what you want in your next relationship, and it will help you grow.

It is time people start normalizing this. Whether a person never had a relationship, or he has been single for years or does not want to date, being single is the new thing. Also, life is too short to depend on a significant other to define your worth. So, learn from the biggest adventures of life and normalize this living.