For us, the thought of holding someone’s hand and romantically feeling them around is an indescribable feeling. But to some, the thought of not feeling romantically inclined may initially seem a little discomforting. Yet after a point, it is natural and normal to be aromantic in real. But do you know what does being “aromantic” mean?
Aromantics are the people who do not feel any or few romantic inclinations towards other people. It simply means not having any or little romantic attraction. Correcting your thoughts again, it is not ‘not having any feelings though’….
Some aromantic people realize their identity in their teenage days. For example, some people identified themselves as aromantic in high school and started getting into relationships. For others, this label happens later. Julie Winset, a 25-year-old parent of a daughter and aspiring healthcare worker, realized this after she started dating. She said that her friends set her up with one of their friends, and they hit it off instantly. That guy was nice, sweet, and good-looking of what one would look for in a partner. But the only problem was, as time passed by, she felt absolutely nothing for him.
Later on, she started feeling that it was unnatural for her to be involved with others. She did a lot of research and realized that she was unsure if she ever felt more than just ‘comfort’ in her relationship.
Similarly, Ronald struggled with the concept of aromanticism. Coming to terms with feeling aromantic was initially hard. He had to rethink every misconception related to love. It took him years to accept this fact and come up with the story of acceptance.
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AROMANTIC AND ASEXUALITY:
According to the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN):
An asexual person is the who does not feel any sexual attraction, whereas an aromantic person is not romantic at all. So, here are the four categories that need to be considered:
- ROMANTIC SEXUALS: A person who is romantic and experiences sexual behavior.
- ROMANTIC ASEXUALS: Romantic asexual people experience a little romantic attraction, but they are not sexually active. For people who are romantically asexual, emotional connection is the key. They feel that talking, communicating, and searching for solutions work for them. LOVE is an important ingredient for them.
- AROMANTIC SEXUAL: They are people who do not experience romantic attraction but experience sexual attraction.
- AROMANTIC ASEXUAL: For aromatic asexuals, they do not experience any romantic and sexual feelings at all. They care about relationships. In fact, it is one of the bigger aspects for them. They love their partners, their children, their family, and their pets. Their love is an open-hearted love and not a narrow way of loving.
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SIGNS THAT TELL PEOPLE OF BEING AROMANTIC:
Here are the signs that can tell if you are aromatic:
1.) You feel difficulty in relating to the rom-com movies and books:
If you find romance in books and movies are unrealistic, then you are aromantic. You can fall in love with someone the way two characters fall in love in a story or a book.
2.) You pretend to have a romantic relationship:
To fit into that societal normalcy, you pretend to have a romantic relationship. Sometimes, a person does this only to sound normal and be accepted by the people around him/her.
3.) You never fell in love with a person:
When you fall in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach. It is an extraordinary feeling. But, you will never experience this feeling if you are aromantic.
4.) You are a dedicated daughter/son and a friend:
Aromantic people will never get romantically drawn towards other people. Therefore, they show their affection only to their family and friends. So, if you are aromantic, you are a dedicated daughter/son and a friend.
Credits@GoogleImages
We are living in a society that is obsessed with sex and romance. I know it is hard for most people to comprehend love devoid of these romantic elements. But, being aromatic is very normal. So, why cannot others accept the density of falling into a platonic love?
In a society brainwashed by certain rom-com movies, we need to see something beyond the heteronormative definition of love. Love that has no rigidity and the belief of self-acceptance and normalcy.
