GAY RELATIONSHIP QUESTION
Hi Kiara,
A couple of months ago, while I was away from home for a project, I met this person working on the same project as me. We bonded instantly. We had lots of fun talking. Since I have paired up with him, I have enjoyed learning more about him. I’ve never met anyone more nice or handsome than him. There is one thing I don’t know – if he has a girlfriend or if he’s gay.
Could you tell me whether I should be honest with him and tell him I’m gay and I like him from the start? Will he engage in conversation if I reveal my sexual orientation right away?
Faithfully,
James
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ANSWER
Hi,
James!
In this day and age, people are not concerned with reciprocating interest. There is some risk, but it is generally viewed more as flattering than creepy among males. I’ve found that politeness and consideration are the two most effective methods. You are more likely to be accepted if you are polite and thoughtful about how you present your feelings.
However, you might be trying to find a more “sly” way of getting it done, which I can certainly understand.
These suggestions could be helpful to you:
- Maybe you could text him about “the guy you like” without announcing that you’re gay and see how it goes. By “dropping hints,” it is possible he might pick up on those clues, and most probably, he will make the first move.
- Indeed, there is always a “what if” situation for anything you want, but you should ignore it since he could be in the same boat as well. If you don’t tell him what you’re thinking, you won’t know whether he feels the same way unless he’s brave enough to admit it to you. People generally don’t like wasting time waiting for others, so if I were in your shoes, I’d probably choose to bite the bullet.
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- Talking about your dreams and your plan to achieve them will earn you the respect of your crush. It might be possible for this man to feel attracted to you even if he has no significant physical attraction to you if he feels energized by your ambitions and drive.
- Although it is a cliche, making him laugh will always be a great start to rekindle his love for you. Sometimes, it’s best to be serious, especially when talking about important topics; you shouldn’t make things funny out of necessity. Stay natural. If he enjoys your humor, he is probably gay as well.
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- Being open to someone is difficult, notably when you work with them or are engaged in a joint project together. Suppose that person rejects you. One of the most frightening aspects is having to see him every day for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, I don’t have any super magical advice here. To find out if this man is into you or just being nice to you, you’ll have to take a leap of faith and speak up. Otherwise, you might waste time waiting around for him to speak up (which might never happen).
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Do remember, as time passes, you will learn about his sexual preferences. Then again, if he is gay/bi, he already knows you are too. (Whatever the reason, he hides it) Give him some time, and he will open up to you.
If everything goes well, please let us know. Fingers crossed! Good luck, and please don’t hesitate to write back!
Yours,
Kiara
