Hi Kiara,
I hope all is well with you. I’m delighted to get together with you. I’ve read your blog post on “How to Keep the Spark Alive“. I enjoyed reading it. So, I thought I’d ask you something.
Recently, I’ve just met someone who caught my eye. However, I am unsure if I should begin dating him.
Could you please let me know what questions I should ask him before we start dating?
Love,
Josie!
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Hi Josie,
Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you enjoy reading my blogs. I know that navigating a relationship is challenging, especially at the beginning (the early weeks and months). You both genuinely care about each other.
But, you should first test the waters before you commit to a serious relationship. You should always keep in mind that, even though you have a secure connection, you should decide if it is right for you or not. Is this someone I would like to be with long-term? Does our chemistry match? How similar are our goals and visions?
Relationships are sometimes challenging, especially when you aren’t sure where to begin.
However, there is no need to worry. Luckily, I have a few questions you can ask him. Asking these questions will help you get to know him on a deeper level. Let me just briefly touch on some key questions you can ask him before you get into a long-term relationship.
Credits@Google
You can begin by asking him what he wants to accomplish in life? What does he consider to be his life’s purpose?
In a relationship, it’s essential to understand the other person’s values and mission in life to see if they match with your own, or else you won’t resonate. A passage from Alice in Wonderland comes to my mind.
A person sees the cat sitting in the tree and asks it which way to go. To which cat replies that it depends on where you want to go. And the person responds that he has no idea where he wants to go. Cat said it doesn’t matter which route you take.
It is the perfect example of knowing what you expect from your partner by understanding the purpose and the mission. It doesn’t matter who you date until you discover their purpose. Identify the mission!
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Which is the most significant failure he has experienced? Does he fail in any particular manner? If so, what is his takeaway?
I find this question intriguing because it implies several things. Number one, it assumes that they have faced some failure in the past. If someone says that they haven’t made a mistake in the past. That might be problematic, which raises a red flag.
However, if they are honest about their failures. This means they are open to learning more and developing themselves as well. It is vital to listen to those who have failed. It gives you deep insights into them to learn about their hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Second, you will learn what happens when they fail under pressure. There will be failures in every relationship, and it’s essential to discover how they handled failures in the past.
Lastly, what is the ultimate goal of the relationship? What is his perspective on this relationship?
If your intention is only to have fun and date around with that person, or if you are planning to marry them. That is what my boyfriend and I discuss a lot, what we like about our relationship, and how well we know one another.
As we learn from each other, we gain strength, enabling us to face our fears and become better people. It gives us the love and encouragement to achieve our goals, knowing we have someone watching over us.
Yet, most relationships fail because they never serve as a partnership but instead serve as competitions, humiliations, mockery, and backstabbing despite pretending to be in love. Thus, it’s crucial to understand their goal to avoid ego-driven arguments or the end of the relationship.
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I think you should consider asking these questions before you start dating your significant other. I’d be interested in hearing your questions. I wish you a prosperous and fulfilling life.
With love,
Kiara!
