Should I discuss money matters with my date?

               Whether you are getting married, moving in together or, getting serious about honey, it is always a good time to start a healthy financial discussion with your significant other. 

But, talking about money can be a little uncomfortable. And figuring out how to have that ‘money talk’ with your significant other that you *like-like* can take it to a new level of ‘I am clueless as to what I am doing”…But how do you talk to your better half about money?? Even though it might be a little scary, but talking about money is super important in a relationship. The way you and your partner can handle finances can have a huge impact on things. It changes the perspective of things you guys would like to do together someday, like starting a family or owning a house.

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So, when should you have that “MONEY TALK?”

1.) When you are dating:

 Financial discussions are not a big feature of your conversations when you are newly dating, but it does not have to be that way. You can initiate some money talks like who will pay for dates, your salaries, and other general conversations. At this stage, do not indulge in the major information on debts and mortgages. It will be a little strong to discuss.

2.) When you are taking that big decision of your life:

By this point, you have already been dating and are into a stable relationship. So, it is you who should get serious about money matters. If you are moving in together, you need to discuss bills, insurance, rents, and stuff. Getting married is an exciting time, but it also comes with certain decisions. There have to be discussions on the wedding budget, assets, and various other things.

3.) After you have gotten married:

By now, you should have already discussed a lot about money. But many couples, still do not discuss money even after their 10 years of marriage. It is often because someone is just better with finances and takes on that responsibility. So, whatever be your living, you should always make an effort to talk openly about money.

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MONEY TALKS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

• Splitting the bill talk: One way to initiate the money talk is talking about who pays before you go on a date. Something as simple as offering to split the bill can give you a feel for your other half’s attitude about money. Post this, you can have an open and easy conversation with your partner, possibly opening the door for bigger conversations about money.
• The “Important” talk: Dating is all about knowing each other. It also gives you a sneak peek into how much your partner spends their money and how you guys are financially compatible with each other. So, during this, always describe what your dreams are and what you are trying to achieve. By sharing your goals, you can watch how your date responds, and then you can make your next move.

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• The “So, how much do you make?” talk:

  Before you are looking for an apartment or starting a family, always talk about money. Money can be a sensitive issue for some people, but this is one conversation that you should never skip. After all, if you do not know your combined monthly income, how will you figure out your cost of living?

• The “credit score” talk is essential:

Talking about your credit score is not for fun. But since your credit can affect your ability to run the house, you should probably talk about it with your partner.

• The “Debt” talk:

As your relationship progresses, it becomes more important to open up to your partner. This includes talking to your partner about the debts you guys have. Telling your partner about student loan debt, medical bills, and credit card balances is important at this stage to give you a better sense of your financial position. Also, after having this conversation, you might feel super scared and vulnerable to open up about debt-related things.

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• The “Money ground rules” talk:

So, when you guys decide to share your finances, working out some ground rules can be a great way to set expectations upfront. Putting boundaries in place can take some of the guesswork out of making a life together. Other kinds of ground rules to consider include: how much you guys contribute to shared savings or retirement accounts each month or talking about circumstances when you would be willing to dip into emergency savings.

• The “worst-case scenario” talks:

When you are in the middle of planning a wedding, you do not want to think about what you would do in case of a breakup. But it is important to figure these little- little things together. This means sitting down together and writing it down. You can also make your better half the beneficiary for any retirement accounts or other assets that you have.

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WHAT SHOULD NOT BE DONE WHEN TALKING ABOUT MONEY WITH YOUR PARTNER?

• Don’t make it feel like it’s a trap:

Money is a very sensitive matter. Not everyone likes to talk about it. So, in some cases, you need to be cautious. You do not want anyone shutting down. So, always start with a few harmless questions and then slowly come onto the basics.

• Do not shame or blame your better half:

 Never make your first money talk sound like a negative one. If someone is overspending or getting into debt, do not make your first talk sound like blaming or shaming your partner. Any conversation that you start should be stress-free, friendly, and productive. Talking to your partner about money should not be scary. These days, people are open about discussing money, and through these little things, you can understand your partner well. These tiny steps lead to a great life ahead. So, plan your “financial matters” accordingly.

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