Stalking Your Ex on Social Media Is Normal!

Breakup sucks-that is just undeniable. No matter who ended things, breaking up is not at all easy. Lots of people opt for a clean breakup, which is a good idea. But the most difficult; part is moving on. It takes time to get your ex’s name out of your head and heart and stop typing their name into your Instagram search bar. Almost all of us are pretty addicted to social media and cannot resist the temptation to virtually catch up on everything going on in our ex’s life. And, hey, if you are doing this, then you are not alone. It is very normal.

According to a recent survey, “46% of Americans admit to engaging in some form of online stalking of an ex-with 9% admitting to having created a fake profile to check their partner on social media”…

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The reason we do it:

  The desire to check up on your ex is pretty normal. Long before the existence of social media, people would still stalk their exes. Earlier, people use to drive past their ex’s residence or would call them on the telephone. While there are people, who still do this, others prefer cyber-stalking their ex on social media. It is also way easier; because you do not have to leave your house to do it. All you have to do is pull up their profile, and you are good to go. All these behaviors tend to make people feel worse, but they do it because of a compulsion to know, even if part of them exist. Usually, people talk to their exes also, because they ‘want to see if they are happy with them or dating someone else’. They also try finding answers to know what the breakup happened. At times, they still have feelings for their ex and hoping to get them back together. The first few weeks of breakup are difficult because you start feeling that void. So, stalking works in that case.

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How can you cut the cord? (Because these are the common solutions that you will find everywhere)

So, when checking up on your ex becomes a big mess, try going out for a walk or seeing a new movie everyone is talking about. Also, you can do the following things to cut the cord:

• DELETING/BLOCKING THEIR PROFILE: If you do not want to remember them, delete/ block them on social media.
• KEEPING BUSY: Always surround yourself with friends or go to the gym or do something that will make you feel good about yourself.
• FINDING A REPLACEMENT HABIT: Make sure that you engage yourself with some activity of others. Go for a walk or play a game to keep yourself engaged.
• GETTING BACK TO YOUR DATING GAME: You won’t obsess over your ex if you have someone else in your life. You do not have to go out and get physical with the next person you see, but get comfortable with dating and the idea of being with someone else. It will help you get over with your ex and keep you busy in the meantime. Also, you can have a little fun too.
• BLOCKING HIS PAGES IF YOU HAVE TO: You might need a little help from Google but, you can block his pages from your computer if your stalking has gone limitless. Think of it as you are engaging in parental controls because sometimes we all need boundaries.

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My advice: (Don’t stop stalking your ex, yes you heard that right!)

  If you are doing anything like driving by his place, calling him and hanging up, making a fake social media account, and following him…if you are doing anything in which you could get potentially trapped or get into legal trouble. Please, STOP!

You are not pathetic, and no one is THAT replaceable or special for you to jeopardize your livelihood and reputation.

So, if you constantly check your ex and cannot stop, then there is no point in forcing yourself to quit. Seriously.

Trying to place ultimatums; on yourself is going to make you feel worse. It is why many strict diets also fail. So, if you feel like you are depriving yourself, the desire to quench will be even stronger. And you will become more desperate. So, why it is unhealthy? It is unhealthy; because you are human, which means you will eventually give in, and when you do, it will be ten times more painful and potentially humiliating. So, if you want to dedicate your life to check up on someone else, do it. All I ask are 2 things before you do so:

• When you are looking at photos of your ex, it is OK to feel sad and cry as long as you are mourning the loss of a person you know does not exist anymore. So, all I am just asking you to do is stop arguing with reality and accepting that the person is gone.
• Use this pain to gain some motivation. Instead of crying over the pain, thank god for easing that headache (OF YOUR EX) from your life.

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YOU CAN DO IT:

Figuring out how to stop stalking your ex is something that; does not need to be ‘figured out. Every time you are stalking, you are taking- a huge deposit out of an already negative self-esteem bank account, but guess what? You are doing this for yourself, not for your ex. Also, all you can do is think about dating online, when you really don’t find any closures for it.

Only you have the power to stop just as easily as you have the power to make time in your busy schedule to snoop. You won’t get something out of the stalking, instead find ways to make your dreams come true.